Sunday, October 23, 2011

When Sexy Costumes Have Gone Too Far

Before we begin, we want to clarify that we love sexy costumes. We'd even like to bring sexy into more holidays. Think of how much more important President's Day and Flag Day could be. And just so you know, we've already patented a sexy Gerald Ford costume, so think of another get rich quick scheme. 

Our problem with sexy costumes, is that not every god damned thing is sexy. Some things naturally lend themselves to shorter skirts and plunging neck lines, like French Maids and Elton John. Some things, no matter how little fabric, and how much ingenuity and creativity, will never work. We have drawn a few examples. 


Sexy Fish


Sexy Hospital Patient

Sexy Jesus


Sexy Kirstie Alley

Sexy Baby


SPOILER ALERT, THIS ONE IS REAL

Sexy Big Bird



Saturday, October 8, 2011

Don't Call it a Flashback

We don't want to use the cliched word "flashback," but FLASHBACK. We have been at this for quite a while, which if your eyes have had the glory of feasting on our written words, should be apparent. You aren't just born with this talent, and practice makes perfect. Thank God we are done practicing. 

This article is from 2001, back when we were fat, pimply and constantly rejected by every boy unlucky enough to be the subject of our fleeting attention. Why the high school newspaper let us be this politically incorrect? We don't know, but we suspect alcohol and apathy were key players.  Those glorious, indifferent teachers laid the foundation of smart-assery which continues to contribute absolutely nothing to anyone who reads it. Please enjoy this Halloween FLASHBACK